Tuesday, 12 July 2011

home.

сидеть на диване, ширина которого больше размера комнаты, где я жила почти год. иметь ванную, в смысле bathtub. и смотреть фильмы на большом экране. и интернет который качает всё что хочешь за пять минут. ходить из комнаты в комнату с компом. и двойной холодильник all to yourself.
и когда тебе звонят и говорят "я приеду к тебе сейчас" и приезжают! и вы гуляете.
и принтер в комнате тоже.
и гитара.
_
как обычно много всего и reflective writing страдает.
и спать совсем не хочется.
_
*и разумеется я как обычно не договариваю главного.

Saturday, 2 July 2011

pride

мне нечем перед вами похвастаться. я не видела геев сегодня, я ездила по делам в место, которое парад обошёл стороной.. но посмотрев фотографии, думаю может так и лучше. народу тьма и я всерьёз не люблю риджент стрит и все прилегающие окрестности.
но вот у бибиси есть классное слайдшоу с историей прайд в лондоне – вот тут – собственно как и почему всё начиналось. отличные старые фотографии)

а я начну выдвигаться в барбикан на The Hidden Cameras / Chilly Gonzales (Piano Talk Solo) / Woodpigeon / Devon Sproule – все очень хорошие, расскажу как прошло!
ну и процесс собирания чемодана пошёл. если честно я никогда не трачу на это много времени, так что скоро закончу))

distracted

am i too lazy to write down everything that goes in my mind?
yesterday. it was just yesterday when i've been thinking about things that affect me. a lot of things. stuff that makes me uneasy, uncomfortable, unable to think straight. and it really is hard for me to recall most of them. but i do clearly see one. the particular person brings all sorts of feelings into me with him just being friendly.
<lyrical digression:> always thought of that thing – there are people you don't know but you see them every now and then. and you do remember them. their faces, their expressions, their mood. i'm not the kind of person who looks after people. most of the time i'm deep inside my thoughts and i can easily pass by a group of my friends somewhere on the street. it's not me being rude, i just don't actually pay attention much. so those people – do they remember you too? </l.d. ends>
and the other question – that particular man who is always nice, does he see all the embarrassment he puts me through? i know he doesn't. and that is actually the thing. why should i feel all that unpleasantness if no one sees it the same way?
oh never mind .



right. it was some video i watched on youtube. and there was a phrase that i couldn't catch right.
what mine is yours what yours is never mine
//
what mine is yours what yours is never mind
beautiful isn't it?
some people do like problems. they're holding on to them cause it makes them feel alive. the obvious solutions are beyond them. that's why i'm still not a person i'm proud of.
fucks sake is there going to be the happy ending soon? cause i probably could use one.
phrases in the head. a lot of them. mostly don't apply to my daily life. is it still me?
i had a huge tumour on my head in my dream. fucking dreams.
pretending not to pretend.
right. i've got two options for you. bother or not.
sweet dreams you all.